Election

A theological, biographical, doxological nearly-rhyming poem for brokenhearted Calvinists.


My heart burned for you
You fed my faltering flame
Dry wood and tinder
I leapt for joy at the sound of your voice.
“Deepest love, wide as the ocean”
That filled my heart
With praise and adoration
You my God, my heart’s desire
The world the stage
Your task my part

Learning, growing, compromising
Wiser, stronger, weaker, falling
Your truth inspired a revolution
Hard facts drove out soft allusions
The word of God is true and sure
My heart sin-sick without a cure
“Work out your calling and election”
Seemed to mock my heart’s defection
Is there any hope for those
Whose hearts despise the God who chose?

Still, ahead, the man from Nazareth
Calling all the weary soldiers
Propping up the injured saints
Listens to the same complaints

God the perfect, God omniscient
Damns the world in his “great patience”
This sounds like a terrible movie
18+, pure horror, gory.
Is this what I’m supposed to think -
That all my friends will burn and sink?
“Praise be to God the innocent
Who might just rescue two percent
Of people who believe like “us”
If that sounds strange, then simply trust.”

Of course the preachers were much milder
But the cartoon-God was louder
Stuck inside theology
The system showing signs of strain
Stuck inside my sinful body
Causing Holy Spirit pain

Running hard in the wrong direction
The living God saw my intention
He let me walk away from home
He let me fail and end in squalor
“I curse you God!” I think I uttered
Ashamed now after resolution
I must recount my dissipation
It really was the purest sin
It should have sealed my bitter end

But in the midst of my rebellion
The living God arranged a banquet
Seeing I would not come home
He clothed himself with sin and dirt
And finding me in my own vomit
Pitying self and quite despondent
He stood me up and washed me down
Gave me bread and spoke quite softly:

I am the shepherd you desire
I loved you long before your fire
I loved you in your mother’s womb
You’ve never been a moment hidden
My Spirit searches deepest caverns
You are mine, you are forgiven

Dumbfounded, moved to tears, repentant
The arm of God worked my salvation
God the crucified, the broken
Saves the world and seeks the lost

Not the purest logic puzzle
Not philosophy’s perfection
But a living God took action
Saved me from my own abstractions

Sovereign God with great affections
Far beyond our speculations
You are Lord of all the nations
All will come before your throne
Confrontation, praise and glory
You reveal our secret stories
You will do the righteous thing
All will love you, truest King!

I want to tell my tale, be open
For those who still remain heartbroken
For those who still prefer a system
I fear it might do others harm
And even if the Lord’s right arm
Is strong enough to save the wounded
We shouldn’t snuff out smouldering wicks
But lead them to the blazing centre
Jesus Christ, the God who bought us.